Disturbing personal food facts

Everyone has a list of strange and somewhat disturbing facts about themselves - which many people try to hide from others observations. However, I am willing to divulge my weirdness for the world to know - mostly because I am aware that there are really only two people who ever read my blog - and they do so only periodically. So I'm not too worried about putting my quirks out there for the "world" to see - because the two people who might read this already know I am weird (or at least they will after reading this). Just remember - you who are without any weirdness cast the first stone!!

I separate my candy by color and/or type. For example; given a bag of M&M's I will promptly pour them out and proceed to divide them into color groups. I then proceed to eat the candy coated chocolate in a pattern (which can vary - see I'm not as OCD as you think I am).

I always save a small portion of the best tasting item on my plate to eat as my last bite. Warning to waiters: don't even think about removing my plate under the assumption that I am finished - not until I say it is okay, and that bite has been consumed! Unless you are looking for a fork wound in your hand that is.

I prefer wavy potato chips over regular ones (the larger the wave, the better). I love to slowly eat the wavy chips - biting off a row or two of waves at a time - working my way down to the end of the chip. I also like "burnt" chips - and get excited when I see darker brown chips in the bag (they are always eaten first). Why do chip manufacturers do their best to remove those before sending the bags to market? I would pay money for a whole bag of so-called "burnt" chips (mid to dark brown in color - not blackened burnt of course).

At Easter time I usually buy a small box of Peeps. You know, those overly sugar laden marshmallow treats that send you into a severe sweetness coma - or at the very least bestow a sugar migraine. However, I prefer to open the package and let them sit on the countertop for a few days prior to eating them. They are much better when slightly chewy stale, and not so squishy soft.

I love bread and milk. Much to my shock and surprise I discovered later in my life, that there are actually people who hate the soggy texture of bread that has soaked up all the milk goodness. I will sometimes even dip my peanut butter and honey sandwich in a glass of milk - much along the lines of people who dunk their donuts.

I hate it when eating breakfast, and syrup gets on any food other than where it belongs. Syrup belong on pancakes, waffles, or french toast. Syrup and eggs do not go together. Syrup and bacon or sausage do not go together. You may say, "but it all ends up in the same place". My reply to that might be to flippantly sing-song back to you, "one of these things is not like the others". Am I referring to yourself, or to the food? Hummm.... you may interpret that any way you choose.

I very rarely like to put gravy on my potatoes. I think this may depend on the type of gravy - but mostly I prefer to just put butter on whipped potatoes. Baked potatoes also require a smidgen of sour cream, in addition to butter. However, gravy on meat is usually okay.

Tart so-called desserts are an abomination, and must be avoided. No one in their right mind can honestly believe that tart pies (key lime or lemon) should be classified as a "dessert". In fact tart foods should be avoided all together! Give me savory or sweet - but hold the tart please. Perhaps this harkens back to the old adage of, "you are what you eat". I have never desired to be labeled as a tart.

I don't like vinegar. Can't stand to eat anything pickled.

I hate tomatoes (texture, taste, and acidic levels - ick!!).

For the most part onions and peppers don't like me very much.

I love cucumbers and radishes - but they don't love me.

Yeah, I suppose you could say that I am a picky or quirky eater (and proud of it). Just remember, they who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks - or is that people who live in rock houses shouldn't throw glass? Whatever!! At least we all acknowledge that the world is full of weirdness. And now I have brought a small portion of my weirdness to you!!

Ramblings and a bicycle picture

Oh my!! I just revisited my blog this morning, only to discover it has been over a month since I last posted something. Does rambling count as something? Then on with the ramble!!

In my defense, I have actually been busy (for a change). I know that I have been physically active, because my muscles remind me every waking (and sleeping) hour of the day! My yard is slowly emerging, temporarily victorious, from the ongoing battle against weed infestation. I have also planted potatoes in the newly plowed veggie garden spot. As for other veggies or flowers, not for a few more weeks until we pass the supposed "frost danger zone". I would hate to have my efforts decimated by an all too common early May frost.

This week I have successfully been weening myself away from wasting massive hours playing online computer games. They served an important mindless purpose this past winter, keeping me from sinking into total insanity during the surgery recovery time. However their at first tenuous grip on me managed to tighten, as I unwittingly increased the number of online games to play. No more, I say! I shall regain my freedom from game enslavement!! This past week I have actually spent some wondrous time reading a book (wonder of all wonders - I haven't forgotten how to read!!).

Now on to the most important of all news... after 22-plus-years of being bikeless (haven't had one since I was in Japan, serving as a missionary in my early 20's) - I have purchased a bicycle!! Not just any bicycle - but one who's design hearkens back to a more simpler time. It is a pure delightful combination of retro styling, and modern technology (see photo stolen from the internet below).



Notice it actually has front and rear fenders - an uncommon anomaly in today's version of bicycles. I can also sit upright on a non-wedgie giving seat like a human while I ride, rather than hunched over reaching for handlebars placed in an un-natural position. I'm not sure yet what I will do with all the 24-gears it comes with, but am sure I can find something. Now I just need to get a basket for the front (sans flowers please), and a bell (to warn people I'm a commin')!!

All things near and dear to us should have a name (even inanimate objects). I will be accepting suggestions for bicycle names, should you feel so inclined.

Purpose

I believe that have finally discovered what my purpose in life is...

Oh, honey bee

This morning I was reminiscing (the older one gets - the more likely the habit). Actually it was reading a blog entry from a friend (click here) that got me to reminiscing. Something was mentioned about black stripes - and I started to laugh out loud.

You see, my Dad was a bee keeper for a number of years - needless to say, during that period I did not spend much time in the backyard. Anyway, one day while walking home from school with a friend (I was either in Jr. High or High School) - I noticed some honey bees gathering pollen from flowers in our neighborhood.

"Look! Those are my Dad's honey bees!"

"How do you know they are yours?"

"See those black stripes? We paint them on the bees right after they are born - so we can identify which bees belong to us."

"Really? That's cool. How do you do that?"

"We use a really small paint brush."

Yeah, she actually believed me! Still makes me laugh to this day. And no, I will not reveal the identity of my friend, nor what color her hair was!

Time

With each passing moment it is creeping ever closer - heavy footsteps of its approach echo relentlessly in the hallways of my mind. The "it" I am referring to is the dreaded spring daylight savings time change (which is always much worse than the one in the fall). Worse because it causes me to lose an entire hour of precious sleep (what could be worse than that?). Yes, I could just go to bed an hour earlier (pretending that the time change has already happened). But I think going to bed early like that must be against my religion. I am trying to find supporting mention of this belief in the scriptures - I'm sure it must be in there!! All I need is to be more diligent in reading from them every day, and I shall soon discover words of support.

I do admit that there are a few positive things that this yearly time change event heralds - the fast approaching gifts of spring. I think that I mentioned in a previous posting that spring is one of my four favorite seasons. It is spring that brings with it a total renewal of life, finally awakening from the slumbers of winter's chill. How I anxiously await the tiny leaf and flower buds bursting forth everywhere you look. Sunshine is warmer, and remains longer in the sky as the days slowly extend the blessed hours of light to the northern hemisphere.

When I think of spring, I think of newborn baby animals (puppy's being among my most favorite). I think of plowing and planting crops in the freshly turned earth (corn on the cob to mention one) - crops to be feasted upon in the upcoming months. I think of wildflowers stretching their flowered heads towards the sky - and bees busily humming as they eagerly harvest the pollen nectar. I can hear birds singing their songs of nest building, and laying eggs in every assorted color - from which will burst forth some of God's beautiful creatures. Butterflies are emerging from their cocoons - spreading their colorful wings to fly past - while I stare in shear wonderment at their grace and beauty.

Okay, perhaps the approach of daylight saving change isn't as bad as I may think. After all, it is one of the hallmarks announcing the coming of spring!

Hello birdie!!

On my drive home, I often see a bird of prey (a falcon or hawk) perched high above the freeway on one of the light posts. I like to imagine the bird is there to greet and welcome me on my homeward journey. Or perhaps it is just there to view with curiosity and amazement the strange metal objects hurtling past at breakneck speeds. However, I suspect this bird is merely on the watch for field mice in the large grassy enclosed area, that is often created with an intersection between two freeway systems.

I usually greet warmly the stately bird - and offer up a wish for a good hunt. In the back of my mind I swear that I can faintly hear a personal return greeting - conveyed mostly by a regal look towards my car as it speeds past... my friend in the red car is safely on her way home now - all is good in the world - now I can go forward with the hunt.

Sisters

It is always nice to be invited into the home of those with large and loving families. My definition of a "large family" is one with three or more children. I grew up with only one brother - but he and I from day one were never close in any sense of the word. He left home when I was about age 14 – but long before that (due to choices he made to separate himself from the family unit)... I often thought of myself as an only child in many respects.

I have often experienced the green-eyed monster I call "envy" of those who have sisters (I always wanted a sister). Growing up I loved the chaos and noise found in the homes of those with multiple siblings. Don't get me wrong - I was most fortunate to grow up in a home that was a fairly quiet and peaceful place in which one could totally unwind from the cares of the day. My parents worked hard at creating this environment of peace. In fact as a kid, some friends with large families who came over to "play" would sit down and actually fall asleep.

Now that both of my parents have passed away and I am alone, my home is even more quiet and peaceful - which I truly enjoy. I love being at home. However I have to express the thought that it is nice to get out and interact with others in a family gathering. I don’t usually understand the long-standing family inside jokes - but the shared laughter is always a bright spot.

One could say that I do have some "sisters" - they take the shape of neighbors and close friends. But as much as I love and deeply care for them - for some reason it doesn’t seem to be exactly quite the same as having a life-long connection with another person that is filled with shared experiences. Perhaps I am trying to elevate the whole concept of having a blood sister into something that it is not in real life. But to those of you who do have sisters, I say... cherish them on whatever level you are able to.

Winter

I like winter. It is one of my four favorite seasons of the year - the others being spring, summer and autumn (listed in no particular order). What is it about winter that has me taking keyboard in hand to express feelings about it? Top of the list would probably be... no yard work required!! Except for brief episodes of snow shoveling, winter is a time of sweet respite from the labor intensiveness of other seasons. Here are a few of my other favorite winter things...

• cold days and even colder nights
• frosted or snow covered branches on trees
• turtle necks and fleece
• ear muffs and gloves
• snuggling under a blanket reading a book
• hot chocolate and a good movie
• warmth and comfort of a wood fire
• the sounds of winter...
  - how sound carries so clearly on a cold morning after a storm
  - muffled stillness during a snow storm
  - show crunching when walking on it
  - the sound of snowflakes falling (yes, there is a sound)

Winter weather also helps to better justify my home body tendencies - I simply love being at home. The best vacation I have taken in years was a week "staycation" this past summer. In the winter, no one questions your mental state when you stick close to home. Try that in the summer, and your friends start slipping you names of mental health professionals and self-help books to read.

In the future, I will probably write other blog postings expressing my feelings about spring, summer or autumn - and why I like those times of the year so much. But for now I must reiterate that... I like winter.

Sasquatch

NEWS FLASH: A Sasquatch sighting was here at my home this morning!!

Okay - so it was only a partial sighting - just the legs. And for some strange reason those legs appear to be attached to my body!! It's amazing how much leg hair can grow in only two weeks. Who knows how much longer it will get before I am once again able to reach down and properly use a razor?

I am currently contemplating various methods of adding additional length to the razor handle - without jeopardizing safety in shaving. I don't want to open any bleeding wounds on my legs - and then be unable to address the problem without an embarrassing visit to the local medical care center.

I can hear it now...

"So, how did you receive this huge gash that now requires 57 stitches?"

"Ummm, I was attacked by a rabid dust bunny? Maybe I need a tetanus shot."

Brain fog

The past 1.5 weeks have passed in a drug induced brain fog. Ever since surgery last week I have needed to be somewhat doped up to reduce the pain levels for mere survival. The pain really only hits when I do silly things such as breathing, standing, walking, or eating. Heaven forbid I ever need to sneeze, cough or blow my nose!! I honestly do not understand why people would ever make the choice to turn to drugs and live their lives in such a foggy world. I can't wait for the time when I can once again live my life with full faculties in place.

But until then, I am certain that my friends are enjoying observing and mocking my altered state of mind. But just remember - even though I can't quite think straight at the moment - I have been taking notes and suitable retaliation will be forthcoming (all in good taste, of course)!!