Wolves

One winter evening, while sitting around a blazing fire, an old American Indian chief was teaching his grandson about life, and the inner war that goes on inside of all people.

“You see,” said the old man, “this inner struggle is like two wolves fighting each other. One is evil; full of anger, fear, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, hatefulness, and lies.”

“The other one,” he continued, poking the fire with a stick so it crackled, “is good; full of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, friendship, empathy, generosity, faith, compassion, and truth.”

For a few minutes the boy pondered his grandfather’s words and then asked, “So which wolf wins, grandfather?”

His bright eyes focused on his grandson, and the wise old chief said, “The one that you feed.”

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I remember as a teenager sitting in a Sunday school class at church, and again later in seminary - seeing a film narrated by Elder Boyd K. Packer about the "music of our minds" - and our minds being like a stage.  It was basically taken from an article found in the January 1974 Ensign magazine.

Being the irreverent immature adolescents we were - countless jokes were made about this. Yes, we were somewhat mocking of a message from a servant of the Lord - for which actions I am positive there will be time assigned for me to spend in purgatory.

Those words so thoughtfully given many years ago are pretty spot on target, even more so today. Elder Packer talked about the influences that music can have on a person – their mind, and their spirit. I would like to take this a step further and include all types of media presented in today’s world.

In addition to questionable music, there are movies, books, video games, television, internet, texting and so-called “smart” phones - the list goes on (and on, and on). Each of these can provide much good in the world… and in turn each can also hide a significant evil behind the guise of coolness, popularity, or even sometimes tolerance.

You might be wondering what all this has to do with the story of the two wolves. The question is... what types of influences do I allow in my life which are feeding at least one of those two wolves inside?

The scriptures say that no one can serve two masters - or in other words, it is not possible to feed both wolves at the same time. Negative and distorted thought processes which come with depression - can also effectively serve the wrong master, or feed the “evil” wolf. For me, this can be significantly enhanced by outside influences.

It is never an easy task to make changes in thought patterns - for me it has taken both ongoing therapy and medication (along with a great deal of love and support from dear friends). I still experience periods of depression - but I know to whom and where can I turn for peace.

I also know that my choices of media can have a powerful impact on all aspects of my life - mentally, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I tend to be very picky about the quality and type of media allowed in my home and in my life - striving to select that which will feed the good inside.

Hello birdie!!

On my drive home, I often see a bird of prey (a falcon or hawk) perched high above the freeway on one of the light posts. I like to imagine the bird is there to greet and welcome me on my homeward journey. Or perhaps it is just there to view with curiosity and amazement the strange metal objects hurtling past at breakneck speeds. However, I suspect this bird is merely on the watch for field mice in the large grassy enclosed area, that is often created with an intersection between two freeway systems.

I usually greet warmly the stately bird - and offer up a wish for a good hunt. In the back of my mind I swear that I can faintly hear a personal return greeting - conveyed mostly by a regal look towards my car as it speeds past... my friend in the red car is safely on her way home now - all is good in the world - now I can go forward with the hunt.

Rain rain go away

I swear that I saw all sorts of animals gathering two-by-two and proceeding to climb aboard boats in the neighborhood this past weekend. It has been quite cool, and has rained at least once every single day now for more than two weeks. There are a plethora of mushrooms growing in my lawn - and also under my peach trees for heaven's sake (and I don't think they would be good in a salad either)!! This is not normal - I live in a desert!!

I really miss seeing the gloriously warm sunshine - and am more convinced than ever that I would not want to live in the Pacific Northwest, where I understand it rains much of the time. But give it a few weeks, at which time I will be clamoring for the then past cooler rainy days. You know, the time when temperatures start climbing into the 100's and the air is so dry that I can't even spit. Guess there is just no pleasing some people.