Catch up

I'm going as fast as I can

Catching up on my so-called "life" (not to be confused with ketchup - which is pretty much my preferred way to eat tomatoes - but I digress). The following items are listed in no particular order. For more details on why that might be, refer to the sickness listed in item #1.

1. Have had a writer's block infestation the past few weeks - accompanied by the dreaded Idontcare-itis sickness - along with problems being able to focus thoughts or concentrate (attention deficit leading to inane distractions... squirrel!!*)
2. Made it through yet another month of May - tried to make a few "better" memories to help counter the sad ones of both of my parent's deaths in that particular month (in 2002 and 2006).
3. Saturday, May 12th I walked a full 5K (3.125 miles) in the "Race for the Cure" - a fundraising event to help with breast cancer research (my Mom died of breast cancer). First time I participated in something like this - look forward to doing it again next year.
4. And on Sunday, May 20th (10 years to the day of my Mom's passing) I was invited to be part of a choir - singing at a special church gathering (regional conference) in The Conference Center at Temple Square in Salt Lake City. It was an inspiring event - both the singing opportunity and listening to the speakers.
5. Last week started meeting again with my former counselor - working on this depression monster. Next appointment she said we will be exploring my fears. On a scale of fears - first is a fear of heights followed closely by a fear of closed-in spaces... which neatly explains why I do not like to fly on airplanes. Next up would be a fear of analyzing my fears (which is actually not a fear - but sure does make me very uncomfortable).
6. Update on the weight-loss side of things. Last time I posted about this, I had lost 31 pounds. As of yesterday morning mark that number at 57 total lost - with 60 more until target weight is achieved. So close to the half-way mark - and still so many more weeks ahead.
7. Finally after about 6-months of work limbo - met my new boss last week. Will be moving to another building around the end of the month. Took them long enough (way more than the promised couple of weeks) - but am glad to finally have things getting settled (even if it almost doubles my commute miles).
8. Thinned the peaches on my four backyard peach trees. Too bad the fruit is not on my current diet plan. So will become the peach gifting fairy when the trees ripen (please note that I absolutely refuse to wear the costume!)
9. The front porch iron railing has been going rusty the past few years. Yesterday I cleaned - sanded/brushed - wiped down - and primed the railing. Sometime this week I need to carve out enough time to put two top coats of white paint on it. Totally switching it up from the traditional black it has always been (which became black with rust).
10. Currently am searching for my misplaced sense of humor. If you find it, please send it home. It is very strange and dry - sometimes with sarcasm thrown in - so should be easily recognized as mine.
11. One of these days I promise to stop making lists and dare to call it a blog posting. Oh who am I kidding... if it gets me writing then so be it!!
12. Am very grateful for certain people in my life who share so freely, and from whom I gain so much wisdom, insight, and comfort. Just got home from a walk, and a truly wonderful conversation with one of these dear people - felt a lot better after talking with her!! (she always seems to know exactly what to say... when I grow up I want to be more like her).

And that, my friends, is pretty much my recent life in a nutshell... a slightly cracked shell with an honest to goodness nutcase inside!!

---

(* funny dog distraction from the movie Up)

Where am I?

Have you ever felt lost, even in familiar surroundings? Well, I am losing myself a little bit at a time. Every single day there seems to be more and more of me getting "lost". Nope, not talking about my mind here (although some might question that statement)... I am in fact referring to my physical body!!

In the first seven days on my diet lifestyle plan - I lost a total of 11.5 pounds!! Yeah Baby!! My target goal is to drop the total equivalent weight of say... a large dog. Something perhaps along the lines of a large male Bernese Mountain Dog!! (for non-dog people that would be about 120 pounds!! ... don't be too impressed, I googled this little fact!!)

Until that oh so fascinating time... I am happy with my current weight loss - with more, much more, to come!!

If you ever decide to try this diet lifestyle plan for yourself (or maybe for a loved one)... let me know and I can set you up with an awesome health coach (who is not me -- lucky you)!!!

Am planning on posting periodic updates here on my blog... and someday will even post a photo of myself!! (did I hear someone say, "glamour shots", for pics??)

Final meal

It is all for the "lesser" good!
    ~Messy Musings

Grease soaked paper bag, adds to the experience!! :D

Have you ever wondered what you would have for your “last supper”?? Considering the multitude of options... last night I had my final high-fat unhealthy meal as an overweight blob. Decided on Five Guys for a cheeseburger and fries... something I haven’t allowed myself to indulge in as often as I might have wanted to.

Amazingly enough, it wasn’t as good as I was anticipating. Just wasn’t as satisfying mentally (nor physically) as the same meal has been in the past. Probably because of changes I have been implementing in my life - especially over the past couple of years. First by starting to climb out of depression... and now it’s time to make some physical changes to compliment and help with that journey!!

This weekend marks the beginning steps for a new physical me... a 100+ pound lesser me!! Which is one “large” reason why there are no personal photos found on this blog (there’s just not enough space for one!!). They say a camera will add 10-pounds... I wonder just how many cameras are pointed at me when I look at photos of myself!! (ha ha ha - that's an old joke - even if it is true!)

After much looking, researching, talking with others, etc. etc. etc. ---- I have found a diet lifestyle plan I believe will finally work... for me!! (yay for Medifast!) Like anything worth having, it’s not going to be a miracle overnight success... will require commitment, dedication, work, and eyes kept on the eventual goal. I am excited to start this journey... in for a penny, in for a pound (lots of pounds!!).

Give me a few weeks to get going on the diet lifestyle change... then I’ll try to post some updates on how it is working!! Yes!! I have faith and hope this will work!! And who knows... maybe someday later this year I will finally post a photo of myself (you're either excited, or terrified at the prospect... and that's okay, so am I)!!

Dieting

I have started this great new diet - guaranteed to provide a gain (amount yet to be determined) - but the promises are sure and hopefully will be large!! I'm so excited to see an increase - that I just had to share the news with all my friends!! Aren't gains what all diets are about? Well, with this diet I certainly hope so!! You see, I am starting a "money diet".

For the next few months, every single potential purchase (even for something as small as 50 cents) must first be weighed on the harsh scales of needs versus wants. Until then I will be wearing the ear muffs of need to counteract the singing sirens voices of want.

• Yes I acknowledge this poorly formed metaphor is a blatant (but slightly altered) theft from the epic Greek mythological legend of Odysseus, and his encounter with the Sirens. But I much prefer an ear muff over stuffing ears with beeswax - plus I do not wish to be enticed by the sirens song while tied to a ship's mast.
  But I digress...

You see, my latest home improvement venture of rebuilding of the back porch (photos coming soon - I promise) is going to cost me almost double what I had originally estimated and planned for.

So in order to salvage my sanity and renew financial resources - I must commit myself. No, not to an insane asylum (though some friends might be of mixed opinion on that) - but I must be committed to diligently conserve income resources. To that end I shall endeavor to follow these guidelines:

• If I can honestly survive without it for at least 2 to 4 weeks - then it is not really a need.
• Only basic purchases at the grocery store are allowed (no indulgent extras) - and coupon usage is highly encouraged.
• No purchases of new shoes or clothes - if I can continue to modestly wear something from my closet, then I don't need to buy anything new right now (no matter how cute it is).
• Reading, television (and blogging of course) are on the approved entertainment activity list.
• So-called "emergency expenditures" will be carefully evaluated on a case-by-case basis.
• A re-evaluation of finances will occur just prior to Thanksgiving. If monetary funds are still lacking, then the "money diet" will continue. Additional financial evaluations will then occur on a monthly basis until further notice.

I have successfully completed a "money diet" before - living off of food storage items and creativity. It is not glamorous, and can sometimes have a degree of pain and small amounts of suffering associated with it. However, fortified with divine help from above, experience, and a semblance of confidence -- I shall go forth, persevere, and achieve necessary current financial goals!!

Sigh... time to dig out the wheat grinder and get back to baking my own bread (which is fabulous by the way!!).