Blog rut

Someone once said... the only difference between a rut and a grave are their dimensions. According to dictionary.com, being in a rut is defined as:

1. a fixed or established mode of procedure or course of life, usually dull or unpromising
2. a narrow or predictable way of life, set of attitudes, etc; dreary or undeviating routine

Ruts are not really made for being creative. Don't believe me? Hey, just take a look at this blog as an example of being "unusually dull" and "dreary"... YES, I am in a BLOG RUT!! You see before you a basic pre-packaged blogspot template (soooo underwhelming and - I admit boring - even if green is my favorite color!!).

Most of my posts are merely words... very carefully thought out words which have gone through countless re-writes (both before, and sometimes even after posting)... normally with a "borrowed" internet photo (predictably in the same place - upper right corner). It has to be perfect - spelling, wording, spacing... I really must enjoy the tediousness of organizing on some level.

I read other's blogs, and am constantly amazed at the creativity out there! Great backgrounds - fun blog post content and layouts - also with interesting blog pages / profiles telling me more about themselves (providing much laughter with their delightful sense of humor!!). I really do admire (and yes... envy) other's abilities to color outside the lines in beautiful and unpredictable ways!!

Meanwhile I seem to repeat the same things over and over again - mostly due to my admitted limited artistic abilities (my school art teachers will confirm this very honest observation). Let's just say that I tend to do things in a very predictable and ordered manner - always working hard at staying within the lines.

Probably one reason why I used to do a lot of cross-stitch (before carpal tunnel smacked me). Cross stitch is an orderly manner of putting another person's design onto perfectly weaved cross-stitch cloth - just squares, colored floss and a detailed pattern to follow. And of course, I always made sure the backside of the cross-stitch was "almost" as perfect as the front. Again, you don't believe me? Why do you have doubts?

Okay, I am breaking with my standard blog protocol here... and posting personal, just taken photos of my last cross-stitch project (the friend's "baby" I was making this for I think has graduated high school by now) - and look at me!! I am not placing the photos in the upper right corner!! Woohoo - I'm getting creative??!!

Front view

Back view

Front close-up

Back close-up

Do you believe me now? I have come to know that my organized, predictable, slavish attention to details trait curse that I possess - is a huge obstacle in overcoming certain things. It makes it very difficult to make and accept changes in perceptions - because my mind has already ordered, categorized and filed them away in the cabinet of beliefs.

The whole process of picking out the stitches leading to depression, and re-doing the work is painful and time consuming. However, I must believe and have HOPE that in the end it will be worth it - and that one day I shall look at the cloth and wonder how something could have become so wonderful.