Climbing up

Castle Rock

A long time ago, some friends convinced me to go rock climbing with them and some others at Castle Rock. Said I to them, "I don't have a lot of upper-body strength." They replied, "You mostly use your legs, don't worry you'll be fine." The day after I couldn't move or even lift my arms. At all. Yeah, looks like they misled me about that (thanks Brian & Henry)! However my painful & pitiful arms are not the crux of this story... so moving on.

Standing at the bottom looking up, Castle Rock seemed oh so formidable. Considered to be a "beginners" rock climbing adventure, not even close to being on a par with other places my friends often went (i.e. Pinnacles National Park). Nonetheless it was more than challenging enough for me!  How the heck does one climb vertically without a ladder or stairs?

Henry went first, going up the easier to climb backside of the rock - carrying some climbing ropes for us to use - which were secured at the top, and belayed at the bottom. All harnessed up I started to climb - with Brian instructing me from below where and how to place my hands and feet the entire way up.

Didn't think I would ever make it!! Just when I thought the top had certainly been reached, there was even more rock to climb!  It was so much more difficult than any sport I'd done before, mostly because of the lack of upper body strength... OH and the fact that I have a very healthy fear of heights!! But I knew the rope was secured, that I wasn't going to fall, and Brian was very helpful with his patient guidance.

Finally I made it to the top! Sat down to rest while others in the group climbed up. What an amazing view from the top of Castle Rock. The Santa Cruz mountains are simply gorgeous, I looked down over a landscape filled with trees, and there in the distance I could even see the Pacific ocean! Yes it was hard to make the climb, but the sense of accomplishment, incredible view and profound peace found in nature is something I shall long remember. Then we got to rappel down, which was very daring for me, a bit scary, but admittedly quite fun.

There are a few things I want to keep in my remembrance from this experience...

1. the climb up is always difficult
2. guidance is needed
3. having the safety of a rope (aka: lifeline) is important
4. and the view from the top can be spectacular

I don't go rock climbing anymore. Am currently on a different, difficult and steep journey right now. As I said a few weeks ago, I am grateful for inspired wisdom and guidance from counseling and ecclesiastical leaders. They are helping me to find foot and handholds on the rocky cliff. The all important lifeline? That would be my Savior, Jesus Christ - who stands firm to keep me from falling on the jagged rocks below.

It is actually scary to think that my life can ever be any different - I have lived with false and negative thoughts/beliefs about myself for so many decades now - that is what's "normal" for me. There is the desire for HOPE that I shall eventually reach the summit - absorb what I anticipate will be a breathtaking view - and finally learn how to accept and see that I am NOT "broken, contaminated, ugly and of no value".

But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.
   Book of Mormon, Alma 32:26 (emphasis/italics added)