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Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.
The Charge of the Light Brigade
~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1854)
In this mortal life I am doing daily battle with the front and center enemy... depression. It is physically, mentally and emotionally draining, accompanied by finite strength and motivation. Being responsible and strong all the time - all day, every day - with constant decisions about anything and everything is very heavy and wearing. I may be moving slow, yet still get up and prepare the best I can for the day’s fight. When there is not one ounce of energy or desire left - something inside keeps me going.
Yet there are times when I just want someone else to take the helm and make all the decisions for me - is that too much to ask?
“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
A pronounced longing for the promised rest is often present - wondering where and why it seems to be hiding. Depression gives a very believable illusion that the heavens are sealed shut, where prayers bounce off a low hanging lead ceiling. But I hold tight to my faith that He is listening, and it isn’t just a one-sided conversation when I talk to Him through prayer many times a day, and always in my heart.
Jesus, Savior, pilot me
Over life’s tempestuous sea;
Boist’rous waves obey thy will
When thou say’st to them, “Be still!”
Chart and compass came from thee;
Jesus, Savior, pilot me.
When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar
‘Twixt me and the peaceful rest,
Then, while leaning on thy breast,
May I hear thee say to me,
“Fear not; I will pilot thee.”
Hymn: Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me
