Comfort zone

"Life for a depressed person can feel flat, lifeless, dark, overwhelming, like a series of failures, exhausting, enraging, joyless, terrifying, confusing, foggy, continually anxious, despairing, and purposeless. Additionally, the inner world of a depressed person may be pounded with relentless thoughts of self-doubt and self-criticism, and an inner, silent, primal scream that says, “Save me! I’m lost and it’s dark.” For many, at the heart of depression is a sense of disconnection from one’s sense of self, from God’s grace and love, from loved ones, and from the pleasures of life."
    ~~Darla Isackson

Does this sound familiar to you at all?
If so, then welcome to the world of depression!

In the article where I grabbed this paragraph from (see link below), the authors talk about being mindful - or "mindfulness". To be honest with you, I have never been comfortable with delving into the "touchy feely" side of things. I am so left brained and visually oriented - that at times it could be considered to be a handicap.

However, that being said, I am seriously considering attempting some of the exercises mentioned in the article. I would like to perform an empirical "experiment" (there's that left brain thinking again) - and see if it works for me or not.

I understand it can be good to get outside your comfort zone... we shall see about that!! There is within me a desire to change, a desire to believe, a desire of hope for something better... and so let the experiment begin! (whew... this could take some time, I'm sure!!)

Exploring Options for the Treatment of Depression (part 4):
"Be Still and Know:" Changing the Internal View Through Breathing and "Mindfulness"

What if?

What if you woke up today... 
with only the things that you 
thanked God for yesterday?

• What if I never ever had to constantly deal with clinical depression?
• What if there was no such thing as anxiety?
• What if my parents were both still alive?
• What if I were married and had children?
• What if there was a "get-out-of-pain-free" card?
• What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
• What if hope came easily, and fear was non-existent?
• What if I'm just not good enough?
• What if my self portrait really is shades of dismal gray?
• What if I didn't feel like crying, and want to hide from everyone and everything?
  
  (like I have been hiding from posting on my blog for the past couple of weeks... not really wanting to face the world... not wanting to admit, even to myself, yet another slog through depression's quicksands)

What if? ... What if? ... What if??
There are so many "what ifs" in life - almost as many as there are "whys".

I don't have the answers to any of these questions (well, except maybe the one about the hokey pokey)... but I do know where those answers can be found. However that will require that I stop trusting in the "arm of flesh"... set aside my pride, fears, anxieties -- and replace them with a renewal of faith and trust. Not sure how I moved from that place of faith... but I want to go back there!!

"[Jesus Christ] knows of our anguish, and He is there for us. Like the good Samaritan in His parable, when He finds us wounded at the wayside, He binds up our wounds and cares for us (see Luke 10:34)... the healing power of His Atonement is for you, for us, for all."

(Dallin H. Oaks, "He Heals the Heavy Laden," Ensign, November 2006)

Where am I?

Have you ever felt lost, even in familiar surroundings? Well, I am losing myself a little bit at a time. Every single day there seems to be more and more of me getting "lost". Nope, not talking about my mind here (although some might question that statement)... I am in fact referring to my physical body!!

In the first seven days on my diet lifestyle plan - I lost a total of 11.5 pounds!! Yeah Baby!! My target goal is to drop the total equivalent weight of say... a large dog. Something perhaps along the lines of a large male Bernese Mountain Dog!! (for non-dog people that would be about 120 pounds!! ... don't be too impressed, I googled this little fact!!)

Until that oh so fascinating time... I am happy with my current weight loss - with more, much more, to come!!

If you ever decide to try this diet lifestyle plan for yourself (or maybe for a loved one)... let me know and I can set you up with an awesome health coach (who is not me -- lucky you)!!!

Am planning on posting periodic updates here on my blog... and someday will even post a photo of myself!! (did I hear someone say, "glamour shots", for pics??)