Mind voices

Do you ever feel like you just don't belong anywhere? Kinda like you are operating in analog, while living in a fully digitalized world - not quite fitting in (and certainly not fully functional). At times I don't even feel comfortable in my own skin - because I know this person I am now is not my true self. She was hidden, or lost, a long time ago (at least it seems that way to me).

I am not really able to exactly remember my true self - the being I was before coming into this mortal realm. Once in awhile I see brief glimpses of her - she is quite spectacular! Then my mind voices harshly tell me it must be a figment of my imagination - and I often believe those cruel voices.

Yes, I have many voices in my head, and they tell me all sorts of things. Some are true, but many are totally false. How can I determine which of those voices I should heed? That is something I am still trying to learn - which can often be a painfully difficult process. There are times when I wish those conflicting mind voices would just go silent - allowing me to ponder and think without interruption!!

I have noticed there are many people who attempt to escape their mind voices using various self-destructive abusive means and behaviors. Then there are others who believe so fully the mind voices, that they lose their current and future selves. Trapped they are not able to see past their own distorted thoughts.

I have decided to not attempt an escape, but instead to take the difficult path of confronting the distorted mind voices - insisting that they prove themselves to be true before I believe them. It is not easy, and I am often deceived by my own mind voices. However with patience and persistence it is my goal to silence the deceitful mind voices, thus allowing the clear voice of my true self to finally come to the forefront. I am sure that I shall be quite bruised and battered before reaching the end of this chosen path. But there is a small voice inside that keeps whispering it will be worth it.