To be, or not

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings & arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?
~William Shakespeare (Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 1)

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Life for me is chalk full of the many ubiquitous "should" phrases.

• I should write more often on my blog 
• I should stop playing on the computer so much (games/social media) and instead read or do something of worth for a change
• I should be better at obeying speed limit laws when driving (ahem, barreling) down the freeway 
• I should reach out, help others and be of service 
• I should be able to drag myself out of the house, go for a walk, ride my bike, weed my yard, or even do the dishes/laundry/dusting, etc. 
• I should go to bed earlier, which should help me to wake up earlier, which should allow me to get to work on time 
• I should be better at saying daily prayers and meditating 
• I should be journaling more of my thoughts and feelings 
• I should eat less fattening/comfort foods and focus more on nutritious foods
• I "could" go on and on, but you get the idea

Then there are those days when simply getting out of bed in the morning is a great accomplishment.

Where do you live in time?

I tend to split my time living in both the past and the future.

Past: Coulda, woulda, shoulda: three words that are only filled with regret and second guessing. They are theoretical conditions, sometimes described as "wishful thinking". Living a life focused on the past provides no real solutions to actual problems. What has past is past; enjoy the successes and learn from the mistakes without allowing them to dominate the present.

Future:  Having a future orientation can be helpful in setting goals; however focusing on the unknown can also bring fear and make life more difficult. It can be a waste of time to be constantly looking forward to, or dreading, "what might be".  Living in the future is full of phrases like: "When this happens" or "If only". Each of these is inevitably followed by the word "then".

Present: How many people are actually capable of living their lives in the present? The past and future do play a role in being able to live in the present. The trick is to use them as motivators without letting them control the present. Being mindful, paying attention to what one is doing without regrets of the past or fantasies of the future. What is my capacity to focus on the now? Sounds much easier than it really is to slow down and focus on the present, even if just for a few minutes every day. I understand it can help to reduce stress, both physical and mental.

Now if only I can learn to be in the present, then my outlook on life will improve, right? Sigh... guess I still have some work to do.