Cobbled dessert

Decided to try something new, and post a recipe!! Yes, you heard me... I actually cooked something today with the intent to share with others. So far no one has died, that's good news!! Normally I don't try to inflict my sad culinary lack of skills on others - but this was too good to not share!

True confession: it's not my recipe, I pilfered (ahem) borrowed it from some dear friends. But since these photos and blog are mine - I shall take the applause!! Thank you, thank you!!

Here's what you'll need - along with photos of the process (mistakes and all)...

empty/used containers
(well, except for the butter)

forgot to start taking pictures
until this point (ooops #1)

dry cake mix, looks good, right?

here comes the butter (ooops #2)
(will explain this below)

fresh out of the oven...
can you see the "ooops" yet?

thanks to good friends
helping me to eat this!!

second helping... YUMM!!

















So... can you guess the "ooops"?? Because I did not drizzle the butter - slowly - covering the entire cake mix - there were powdery components still on the top after removing from the oven!!

Note to self: take more time, do it right!!

Congrats to me!! I actually made whipped cream. From a carton. None of the fake stuff for this goodness!! Of course thanks to my lack of kitchen skills - had to ask friends on facebook how exactly one makes whipped cream. Glad I could be the source of amusement for so many! Now I know how to make whipped cream from scratch (maybe not "scratch" - I didn't milk the cow nor separate the cream)... where was I? Oh yes... now that I know the secrets for real whipped cream - feel free to contact me for help with that if needed!!

And now to provide the actual recipe, so you too can "slave away" making a great desert to impress make jealous, your own family and friends! This is so rich and decadent and delicious, people will praise your culinary skills.

BLUEBERRY COBBLER
(from the kitchen of John & Leslie McLean)
  • 1 can crushed pineapple (drained)
  • 1 can blueberry pie filling
  • 1 box dry cake mix (yellow moist - never white)
  • 1 cube butter (melted)
In an un-greased 9x13x2 cake pan, layer the ingredients. Seriously, no need to grease the pan at all because it doesn't really stick!

- spread drained crushed pineapple over bottom of pan
- cover that with the blueberry pie filling
- sprinkle entire dry cake mix over the top
- carefully drizzle (not pour) melted butter over everything... making sure to hit all of the cake mix (do not repeat my ooops!!)
- bake for 2-hours at 300 degrees
- serve with real whip cream (not the fake stuff from a tub)

Sunday will come

         Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
         But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.
         No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.    Joseph B. Worthlin

He Is Risen
He is risen! He is risen!
Tell it out with joyful voice.
He has burst his three days' prison;
Let the whole wide earth rejoice.
Death is conquered; man is free.
Christ has won the victory.
(Cecil Frances Alexander)

More randomness

Am thinking this "Random 5 Friday" is a good thing... it is at least getting me on my blog and writing again!! Thank you shout-out to my blogging friend, Tina, for bringing this weekly "random fun" with A Rural Journal to my attention!!
  1. Been thinking a lot about my Mom this week. She had an infectious laugh. Even if you didn't know her, when she laughed everyone in the room just had to join in! Really missing everything about her, especially the sound of her voice and the unconditional love and support that was so freely given.
  2. Toying with the idea of maybe buying a motorcycle (emphasis on the "maybe"). Hard to justify a purchase like that because I would not be able to use it much of the year, thanks to cold weather in the late Fall, all Winter, and early Spring. Well there's that and the whole helmet wearing bad hair thing. Oh and I also don't really possess any skills, or even basic know-how, for operating a motorbike. But they do get fabulous gas mileage!
  3. Never to my knowledge have I ever been a "morning person". In fact, I simply hate mornings. My brain really does not begin functioning until around 10 or 11 a.m. (and caffeine of any type is not an option, thanks to it making me quite physically ill). Of course depression, for me, can only exacerbate the whole ugly morning scenario. There are many many days where I'm honestly just doing good to get out of bed. That being said, must admit that I have been privileged to see a few truly spectacular sunrises in my lifetime. Too bad they occur so darn early!!
  4. Found out earlier this week why Easter occurs at different times, anywhere from March into April every year. It is the first Sunday - after the first full moon - after the Vernal Equinox (aka: first day of Spring). Guess I never really thought about that before. Now we are all just a little bit more knowledgeable and prepared to amaze others with the amount of somewhat useless information stored in the brain!
  5. This week I bought yet another book to read... because reading around five of them at the same time apparently just wasn't enough! What am I reading, you ask? Even if you didn't ask - I'm going to tell you anyway!!
It can take me longer to finish books than maybe an average person, because I keep hopping from one to the other and back again! Yes, I do finish reading them (eventually)... in fact this past year I finished these most excellent books...
  • Let It Go: A True Story of Tragedy and Forgiveness, by Chris Williams
  • Running with Angels: The Inspiring Journey of a Woman Who Turned Personal Tragedy into Triumph over Obesity, by Pamela H. Hansen
  • Reaching for Hope: An LDS Perspective on Recovering from Depression, by Meghan Decker
It is interesting what you can learn about a person from what they choose to read. What have you learned about me from this list of books?

5 random things


Today I decided to join "Random 5 Friday" in conjunction with another blog, a rural journal. It's my first time doing this - hopefully it will become a weekly event!
  1. After almost two months living in the dark pit of a seemingly never ending battle with depression, I am finally (and for reals) coming out of it!! How can I tell? When I stop being envious upon hearing someone has passed away - and start having interest and excitement in things, events, and life in general again!! (hoping this time I can keep my head above the surface... light and air is a good thing)
  2. Had a LASIK "touch-up" (basically a re-do of last year's surgery) on my left eye this week. At the next day follow-up appointment, was told I am once again sitting at 20/20 vision!!
  3. Went clothes shopping after that appointment, to celebrate - and to keep up with replacing my entire wardrobe. Spring is here... turtlenecks and sweaters hopefully won't be needed for too much longer! Buying new clothes is the most expensive part about losing weight, but it's fun too (especially shopping in "normal size" stores)!
  4. In January I sent some "before and after" photos of my weight loss to friends at work. Forgot one of them works in Public Relations, DOH!! Was asked if he could write something in the corporate newsletter about my success - and here is a link to that story (hope the link works for you). Good thing about this... gives me more motivation to maintain the weight!!
  5. It is now Spring, but obviously from the blizzard outside this morning, we are experiencing "second winter". Honestly, I would much prefer "second breakfast" to winter!! Bahahahaha!!

Just sayin'

For the past few years now I have been collecting short thoughts and observations about life and depression. Many of these are written by me, others were gathered from one place or another. Some are funny (at least they are to my strange and dry humor), but mostly they are just true to one degree or another. And many of them I probably will not be posting on facebook, so of course into my blog they go!!

These are listed in no particular order, which really goes against my "must be organized" brain... but I'll get over it. Please note that I did delete a number of them, because the post was getting way too long (it's still long, sorry 'bout that). Am apologizing in advance if someone takes offense at one, any, or all of these.
  • Is medicated for your protection.
  • This will be a good day. This will be a good day. This will be a good day. Yeah right, I don't believe me either.
  • My head is a dangerous neighborhood, and I should never wander there alone.
  • Everyday I say I'm okay. Everyday I lie.
  • The smile you see on my face everyday is fake. You may wonder how I can fake it so well - just know that I have been practicing for a long time.
  • There are days, like today, when I wish I could just disappear - and see who would really care.
  • Hiding from the world sounds good right now.
  • Depression is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long.
  • Am thinking it's time to disappear for a while... a LONG while.
  • Hate that feeling when you are absolutely sure you've hit rock bottom - but you keep on falling.
  • Am tired but don't want to go to sleep - because then tomorrow will be here and it starts all over again.
  • If you ever see that I'm having a down time, don't ask me what's wrong. Just give me a hug, and let me know that you truly care about me. In other words, lie.
  • It's hard to smile when everything feels so wrong. But it's even harder to tell people why it feels that way.
  • Ever feel like you're sinking in quicksand, and nobody is around to pull you out?
  • Fake smile, check. Fake laugh, check. Fake sparkle in my eye, check. Pain hidden inside, check. Ready to lie to the world again!
  • Ever feel like you just don't belong... that you shouldn't be here... that you shouldn't exist?
  • I'm just... really tired.
  • Someone once asked me - "Why do you always insist on taking the hard road?". I replied, "Why do you assume I see two roads?"
  • Just breathe - because sometimes it's ALL you can do.
  • Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake... good.
  • Sitting here thinking, "what did I do to end up like this?"
  • Have learned that it's better to just say you're okay than try to explain why you're not. How do you explain something that you don't know yourself?
  • Know I'm good for something... just haven't found it yet.
  • Just when I think I've hit rock bottom... the floor collapses under me and I keep falling.
  • Sometimes I smile to make the others around me feel good - and I laugh because I want people to think I'm alright, when I'm really not.
  • The people who laugh and smile the most are the ones in the most pain. Laughing and smiling isn't just the best medicine, it's the best disguise
  • Sometimes you feel like you just want to die - but in reality, you just want to be saved.
  • Just when you hit rock bottom and think you can't go any lower... OH lookie there's a sink hole.
  • Do you ever feel like you're stuck in quick sand... and the more you struggle and try to get out, the faster you sink?
  • How do you take the next step - when you don't know where you're headed.
  • You might not be able to tell, but each and every day is a battle for me - and one of these days I might lose.
  • Sometimes what doesn't kill you only makes you wish it did.
  • Definition of Depression: a slow evil monster that every time it appears to be gone, it sneaks back (sometimes with a vengeance).
  • I will do as I have always done... endure.
  • Sometimes you don't need someone to pull you out of the darkness... just need them to sit there with a candle, letting you know you are not alone.
  • Telling someone with depression to "get over it", "quit living in the past", or "snap out of it"... is like telling someone in a wheelchair to get up and walk - or asking a blind person to just look harder, and they will see it.
  • "I'm fine" -or- "I'm just tired" - are the biggest lies I have ever told.
  • Am looking forward to the time when I can laugh and smile at the same time... and really mean it.
  • Got up this morning, took a deep breath and told myself that I can do this. That feeling sure didn't last very long.
  • I'm broken... thanks for asking.
  • Wishing for the waves of sleep to come crashing over me -- so I may fall into a dreamless unconscious, and finally obtain sweet oblivious peace.
  • Had a bad dream once that I tried to wake up from and couldn't. Then realized oh wait!! I'm awake and this IS my life.
  • Am looking forward to something to look forward to.
  • Think maybe it's easier to keep the wall up... dig a moat... and add piranhas.
  • Wonders how strong God thinks I am for putting me through all this.
  • I'm a survivor!! Every day I have Depression AND everyday I survive it!! May not mean anything to you, but it means facing another day for me.
  • Have a hard time understanding why I feel the way I do some days - but have come to realize that each time I make another day, I've won the battle (but the war goes on)
  • Words cannot describe how I feel right now, *sigh*
  • I must be wishing on the wrong star.
  • Sometimes I just want to get in the car and drive 'til my sanity returns.
  • Just. Can't. Do. Today. May I be excused?
  • "Are you OK?" - "Yeah, I'm just tired." The perfect excuse.
  • When people ask if I'm "okay" - I tell them I'm "fine". Then I laugh because I almost believed my own lie.
  • Sometimes silence is the loudest noise
  • Some wounds are invisible - but they are more painful than the ones you can see.
  • Wish I had a reason to go to work other than paying for bills - and a reason to go home other than sleep.
  • What does it say about life when I have to bribe myself to get out of bed in the morning - with the promise that if I make it through the day, I can go back to bed?