Sasquatch

NEWS FLASH: A Sasquatch sighting was here at my home this morning!!

Okay - so it was only a partial sighting - just the legs. And for some strange reason those legs appear to be attached to my body!! It's amazing how much leg hair can grow in only two weeks. Who knows how much longer it will get before I am once again able to reach down and properly use a razor?

I am currently contemplating various methods of adding additional length to the razor handle - without jeopardizing safety in shaving. I don't want to open any bleeding wounds on my legs - and then be unable to address the problem without an embarrassing visit to the local medical care center.

I can hear it now...

"So, how did you receive this huge gash that now requires 57 stitches?"

"Ummm, I was attacked by a rabid dust bunny? Maybe I need a tetanus shot."

Brain fog

The past 1.5 weeks have passed in a drug induced brain fog. Ever since surgery last week I have needed to be somewhat doped up to reduce the pain levels for mere survival. The pain really only hits when I do silly things such as breathing, standing, walking, or eating. Heaven forbid I ever need to sneeze, cough or blow my nose!! I honestly do not understand why people would ever make the choice to turn to drugs and live their lives in such a foggy world. I can't wait for the time when I can once again live my life with full faculties in place.

But until then, I am certain that my friends are enjoying observing and mocking my altered state of mind. But just remember - even though I can't quite think straight at the moment - I have been taking notes and suitable retaliation will be forthcoming (all in good taste, of course)!!