"Oh, that I could have had my days in the days when my father Nephi first came out of the land of Jerusalem... Yea, if my days could have been in those days, then would my soul have had joy..." ~Helaman 7:7-8
I often wonder why I was born at this time, and in this place. Oh that I could have had my days in a different era or location. Wouldn't life have been easier there and then? But a small voice inside tells me, it would not really be a challenge to live somewhere or somewhen else. That in the here and now is where I belong - and it is here and now where I will learn the specific lessons necessary for my progression.
Why then do I often just want to run away, sometimes by any means possible? To shed this here and now - and escape to there and then (future or past, it doesn't really matter). In that day, or in that place, my soul would have joy. I perceive it to be an easier time and place in which to live - but would it really?
Then my thoughts turn to wondering why I haven't been given the gift to leave this painful mortal existence behind? It always comes back to the fact that apparently God wants me in the here and now for some reason - and that I should be grateful for what I have - not looking at what might be a possibility given that choice. Perhaps I did have a choice, and as a result of a decision made before, I find myself here and now.
Here - now - there - then - time - space - future - past... each aspect so intimately connected in a way, and yet completely separate. Navigating through it all is so overwhelming. Where's my ostrich hole when I need it? I want to burry my head and somehow escape.
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