Eye-lights

Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk
beach & partial view of roller coaster

Summertime! Summertime when in my mid 20’s and living in California, always meant trips to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. Not a ton of rides like some other amusement parks, but seriously probably the best wooden roller coaster ever!!  And of course there is the whole boardwalk atmosphere, with a great beach on which to flop down to enjoy the waves and sunshine!

Inevitably my friends and I would stop at a carnival type booth where you paid a couple of dollars to have the guy guess either your weight, or your age (within 10-lbs or 5-years). Ain’t nobody gonna get me to step on a scale in public to verify my weight... ‘nuff said! So I would consistently opt for the age guess. I always, always, won that contest - and received many a cheap prize at the boardwalk as a result.

People have never really been able to accurately guess my age... which can be a blessing, and a curse. A blessing because, what woman wouldn’t want to look younger than they really are, and seem to age somewhat gracefully? A curse because sometimes people just don’t take you seriously when they probably should... thinking you are a young flibbertigibbet or something. It’s not as bad now as it used to be, because now at least people think I am a more mature sensible mid to late 30’s (yeah, you might want to tack 10-years onto that number!).

There is one more thing about me that other people just cannot seem to correctly interpret either. That would be my eyes. Yes, I said my eyes... they don’t really tell the whole truth. My counselor told me, last year when I started seeing her for clinical depression therapy... that people would not believe me if I told them I have severe depression (heck, they wouldn't believe mild depression either). She said there is a certain light in my eyes which belies what is beneath. Leading others to think all is well with me, and most certainly never clinical depression.

The lesson here is... don’t base opinions on what you see on the surface! That is most likely not the true or whole story for a good number of people! Especially for one such as me, who have become skilled in hiding behind masks... even while leaving my eyes always in full view.