Vortex

"Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in. " ~Michael Corleone, Godfather III

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Depression can be very much like the mafia. When you think you're making progress, and life can once again possibly be filled with some bit of color and sunshine - you get pulled back into the black vortex of depression. You begin to believe that this is just the way that life is, that there is no escape - and you'd just better get used to it.

But I have faith. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." ~Hebrews 11:1

Faith that somehow, someday, I can overcome depression's tightfisted hold. Faith that I need to be patient, as my desired timing may not be God's timing. Faith that there is a better and brighter everyday future ahead somewhere.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." ~Psalms 23:4

Even when I walk through this valley of shadows and mists, I must not fear the now. But look with faith to the future. A future when all will be made right in my little world. Without this faith, I have no hope. When all hope is lost, then your life is indeed dark and totally without purpose. I choose to hope, I choose to have faith.

And as I say these things, there is still a part of me that doesn't fully believe it. Such is the power of the vortex darkness - and it is not easily overcome. To tell someone with depression to "snap out of it" - is tantamount to telling a blind person to "just look harder" and they'll see it. It is not a path I would choose to be on, but it is the path I must walk (like it or not).